Words Will...

Sticks and stones may break my bones but words....Words will break my confidence.

She had read that somewhere once and the truth of the statement still rings loudly in her ears. 

Words- those harmless letters interspersed to become something venomous, gradually draining a person’s sense of self worth. 

She remembers when the words started, those early days of her innocence, that delicate timeline between adolescence and adulthood referred to as "secondary school".

Nothing had prepared her for the cruelty of 13 year olds who had for reasons known only to them, declared her below their standards and therefore unfit for friendship. 

She was the outcast. Their words had been like daggers pushed deep into her chest. The adults laughed off her sorrow- they are just kids, they will outgrow it. 

She never found out if they outgrew it however, because she learnt to hide, to stay away, to become invisible, embracing her  loneliness like a much desired best friend.

As for the words, they follow her everywhere, spilling into everything she does. The words are loud in her ears, she has memorised the tones, the sneer on the adolescent faces seconds before the words spew out, landing hot on her face- immediately absorbed, flowing directly through her, united with her blood. 

She is familiar with the words, she wears them like a second skin. She hears them every night, long after everyone is asleep, as she tastes the salt on her lips, before slowly wiping the tears off her face.