WHO AM I?

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I don't quite fit in anywhere. When I'm home, it's like I'm an outsider looking in.

Watching my mum and sister bond over pots of steaming jollof rice, shared interests, trips to the market,  styling and fashion...I smile, it is bittersweet.



Like you're watching a home movie where the main characters are so in tune with each other and live happily ever after, and at the same time knowing you'll never get your happily ever after, because you're just too different.

I tell myself I'm unique, but that's just a nice way of saying I conspicuously stand out...a popular loner.

I've never belonged.

Everyone says I have a nice and bubbly personality, but the only bubble is the one I'm stuck in..while every other person sails freely around me.

People tell me to love myself first, but really what's left to love?

Slowly, I've been dissected and I can't even find parts of myself anymore.

Where is the young girl who always smiled?

Oh yes, I remember...her smiles  faded out.

I find joy in acting because I get to be someone else for a while..but then all too soon I have to become me again..

When I’m not in character, I still do not belong.

Everyone has these expectations of who I should be but nobody bothers to find out who I am.

I’m the friend whose communication skills always help them get the attention they need, but who gets forgotten soon after.

Who am I when I’m not helping them win debates, write stories, pass exams, get the attention of people.

Who am I?




Comments

  1. AnonymousJanuary 9, 2024 at 4:17 AM

    Wow! It’s like you wrote about me. Do we all feel this same way?🥹

    ReplyDelete
  2. AnonymousJanuary 9, 2024 at 6:45 AM

    So relatable

    ReplyDelete
  3. AnonymousApril 3, 2025 at 10:28 AM

    No wonder you are fat and always angry with the world

    ReplyDelete

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