Zibah Writes

Losing someone you love is something you're never prepared for. That piercing noise that fills your head immediately. That moment when your world comes crashing down. I was safe in the knowledge that my father will always be there for me, a strong, determined man, larger than life. But right then, my world rearranges...I'm a ship whose anchor has been untethered, left to the mercies of a raging storm. I am lost.  I’ve always marvelled at how easily tears fill up one's eye ducts when they hear news of death. That night, I finally understood a mystery I was unprepared for. The unending tears, the shock, the way my hands could not stop shaking. I kept seeing his face over and over, willing to conjure him up....but he was gone forever. Suddenly, I had to learn to live without a father.  It is often said that there are five stages of grief, but no one ever really prepares you to move past the anger or the depression. It's been two years now and I still haven't accepted ...

Sticks and stones may break my bones but words....Words will break my confidence . She had read that somewhere once and the truth of the statement still rings loudly in her ears.  Words- those harmless letters interspersed to become something venomous, gradually draining a person’s sense of self worth.  She remembers when the words started, those early days of her innocence, that delicate timeline between adolescence and adulthood referred to as "secondary school". Nothing had prepared her for the cruelty of 13 year olds who had for reasons known only to them, declared her below their standards and therefore unfit for friendship.  She was the outcast. Their words had been like daggers pushed deep into her chest. The adults laughed off her sorrow- they are just kids, they will outgrow it.  She never found out if they outgrew it however, because she learnt to hide, to stay away, to become invisible, embracing her  loneliness like a much desired best friend. As for...

 As a young girl growing up, I’ve often wondered exactly what friendship is. It took a series of betrayals and a lot of tears before I realised what true friendship is.  Friendship is putting her first before yourself. It is shielding her from the bad things and being her safe space when the bad things catch up with her. It is staying up till 2am playing like 2 year olds even though you're teenagers. It is stabbing classes together just because one person does not want to attend the class. It is telling other people " of course I won't tell anyone" and then rushing to tell her the first chance you get.  It is buying food for her for a whole week when she is broke, and getting in trouble with your family for it.  It is never feeling jealous of her because you know everything she has, is yours to share. It is laughing uncontrollably together over inside jokes. It is hating on her toxic ex for treating her less than the princess she is.  It is going to dinner night...